I had to rebut.
Beelzebub's Son: American Tragedy
Red and black brocade adorns the wall of an office in the deepest pit of hell. The being behind the desk slicks back his greasy hair as an underling approaches.
The subordinate is somewhat nervous as he clutches a folder in his hands. "Oh Dark Prince," he stammers,"it seems we have found him".
At the desk Beelzebub frowns. "This time you are sure?" he asks, "that Manson guy didn't work out, got himself self in jail."
"Oh yes sir, this guy has a gaggle of lawyers and seems to be Teflon. He even said he could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and get away with it."
Beelzebub's eyes narrowed. "so...what does he want? What is his big temptation?"
"My Lord, he craves to be president of the USA."
"Seriously ? That's it ?
" Well yes, that and tons and tons of money."
"Hmmm, Loki, we can make that happen, easily. How old is this guy ?
Loki answered, " Seventy, sir"
Beelzebub was pleased. "Excellent, his soul will be ours soon. Let's send someone up there right away, get this deal in writing. Make him sign in blood.
---- * ----
Skeeve Gannon was at his favorite cafe, sipping his usual tall coffee with a double shot of espresso. He was trying to shake off the fog of his scotch and cigars binge of the night before.
As usual the place was packed.
A tall young man with slicked back hair, and steely eyes asked, “Do you mind if I sit here?” Usually Skeeve would have said “Buzz off!”, but somehow, he felt compelled to say “ Why not ?”
The man who sat down was strikingly good looking, and had that natural magnetism that just makes a person look twice.
He introduced himself, “ My given name is Balaam, but you can call me Joe.”
Skeeve found himself in a deep conversation with “Joe” he told him all about himself and his dreams and aspirations. He even shared his ultimate quest for power.
Joe offered to get Skeeve a refill, and when he came back, Skeeve thought it tasted a bit funny, but he put that thought out of his mind. He looked up to thank Joe. He was gone.
---*---
The next morning Skeeve had breakfast with his friend, Davis Dennings, the “teflon” entrepreneur who had presidential aspirations. Skeeve was enthusiastic. “Davy my man, I woke up this morning a new man. I dreamt you were president and I was your right hand man. I can see it ! We can do this ! We’ll have our chance to correct all the things that Jumbo did. Are you with me?”
Davis was quiet. The images were overwhelming. He could hear “Hail to the Chief” playing in his mind. He saw crowds of avid followers, and parades and members of the military saluting him. “You can really make it happen ? Your not kidding?”
“Of course i can.” Skeeve answered, “I know people, and those people know people. I got media in my pocket too. You know that guy on youtube, and the ones on that TV station you like ? I know them personally. I’ve even got dirt on some of them.”
---*----
Balaam met with Loki in a small office in hell’s mezzanine.
“I’m in !”. I spiked his coffee to lower his resistance, and took over his mind easily. I swear, I wouldn’t have needed the juice. He is so easy. He was open and ready to my ideas. In fact, he has some nasty stuff in there you would not believe. He is into it. He will do anything I suggest. This I going to be fun !”
Balaam met with Loki in a small office in hell’s mezzanine.
“I’m in !”. I spiked his coffee to lower his resistance, and took over his mind easily. I swear, I wouldn’t have needed the juice. He is so easy. He was open and ready to my ideas. In fact, he has some nasty stuff in there you would not believe. He is into it. He will do anything I suggest. This I going to be fun !”
Loki chewed on his bottom lip.He thought, “Can it really be this easy ? These earth souls are usually more skeptical.
“Balaam, my son, this is great, but don't get too excited..these things can be tricky. Get out your tablet I’ll give you some ideas.”
---*---
Balaam was back in the cafe. Skeeve didn’t see him come in, no one did. He slipped effortlessly into Skeeve’s mind, poor Skeeve had no idea Balaam was there.
Skeeve reached for his phone and hit the icon for a familiar number. “Davis ? Yeah it’s me ! My brain is burning with ideas. Are you in ? …. Excellent ! In was up all night making notes. We are going to put you in the ….. wait I can't talk. I’m in public. I will be right over.”
---*---
Davis and Skeeve were at the marble topped desk on the top floor of the ornate and gaudy skyscraper. Gold leaf was everywhere the eye looked. Papers were spread out, organized in piles designated “phase one, two, three.”
Davis sipped diet coke, Skeeve had finished his coffee and was eyeing the decanter of scotch on a side table.
He was practically preaching. “We need a target. Some group of people we can say is the source of all the troubles. Blame everything on them and then tell people only you can fix it. You know like you say in your book… we’ll tell a big lie and just keep telling it and enough people will believe it.”
Davis grinned he was flattered by the reference to his book and by the idea that Skeeve seemed to believe the big lie that he had actually written it. Actually he dictated it to some guy, he forgot the name.
“OK Skeeve” , he said, “how about the Mexicans ? Nobody really likes them except they work cheap, and you can always get them deported if they complain about low pay.”
---*---
As Skee Gannon was exiting the tower he was met by his new friend Joe. He caught Skeeve just as he was coming out of the revolving door and swept him right back in. Skeeve looked confused, but Joe ignored that. “I am glad I caught you. Call your friend Davis and tell him he needs to meet me.”
Joe (aka Balaam) locked eyes and poor Skeeve was powerless to resist. From the lobby phone, Sheeve made the call and they stepped through the gold doors of the elevator to the penthouse.
Skeeve and Davis seemed a bit unsure of what to expect. Joe was confident, “Something tells me that you are headed for great things.”
The two men frowned. Skeeve muttered “How…?” The look on Joe’s face stopped him. You can have it. You can actually realize the dream you have. I can help you.”
Still puzzled they were silent.
“All you have to do is promise us your soul when you die.”
Skeeve and Davis stifled laughter.
Davis said, “Soul what are you talking about ? What are you one of those bible thumpers ? I don't believe in any of that crap.”
Joe was angry. “I am Balaam. Prince of avarice and greed. I have the power to make your dream a reality, and you don't have sense enough to recognize.”
Davis said, “well spell it out. Prove it !”
For over an hour the two listened as Balaam laid out the steps needed to reach their goal. He held back some details, just enough to keep them from going ahead without him.
He pull a document from his pocket. “All you have to do is sign this.”
Davis Dennings asked, “what’s this … a nondisclosure agreement ? I know all about those. “
“Nope !” says Joe, “this is where you sell your souls to the devil in return for your dream.”
Skeeve and Davis looked at each other. Neither one believed in the devil, or God so they said, “why not !”
Loki reached into his jacket and pulled out a quill own and a small, very sharp knife.
And the rest is history
